Mr Clever
by ladyofmaybes97
Summary: "Do you honestly think you can handle my mind? All eleven of us?"


**A.N. I realize that that episode didn't quite go like this. At all. But the idea just sort of stuck and I had to write it. Oh, and if you have a bit of trouble figuring out who's who, the regenerations appear in order and then bicker a bit before going out from one to eleven. Hope that helps and thank you. Oh and I don't own anything.**

"Allons-y!"

"No, don't. They don't like to be disturbed."

"Oh yes. I can see that. The big-eared one is putting up a rather _fantastic _fight. One would almost think that you're hiding something from-"

"Ow! Ah, there we go. You know, we really need to figure out a better way of switching. Slapping myself is starting to get a bit-"

"Old? Yes I agree. Now what are you hiding?"

"Hiding? Me? I assure you, Mr. Clever- oh, and do us all a favor and don't go any further back using that name. If you start a fight with Four, I swear I'll-"

"Get on with it Doctor. It's your turn."

"Touchy. Fine. Believe it or not, this is for your own good. You may just be a stream of data, you may not have emotions, but just the sheer illogical impossibility of my complete psyche would drag you down so far, you wouldn't even remember sanity."

"Think I can't take it? Come on! I'm the Cyber-Planner to three million units; I have more than enough processing power to comprehend a single Time Lord's mind."

Weeell, I wouldn't say comprehend.

*Yeah, it's more like running around exclaiming 'what' every three seconds.*

Oi!

"Oh, you brought out the hair and ears."

"Just remember Mr. Clever, you asked for this. Do you still think you can handle my entire mind?"

"Two additional organic minds are nothing to me."

*Oh aren't you in for a treat.*

Just wait till he runs head-long into Four.

*I might force him to regenerate myself, rather than listen to that mess.*

^Hello there. I haven't had a guest in a long time.^

*I wonder why.*

^Don't mind my companion. You may address me as Eight. And you are?^

"The Cyber-being who will control one of the greatest minds in known history. Mr. Clev-ah!"

"Getting difficult? That would the others waking up. Can't say I talk to them that much- oh! And it's your move."

"I'm fine."

Please. If you're fine Mr. Clever, than I'm the king of England.

^Oh? We didn't take the crown? Shame.^

~What's this then? A Cyberman trying to win our head? I'll have you know lad, it'll take a lot more than whatever it is you are trying to pull to take us down.~

(He's right. The Time Lords practically invented chess.)

*The Technicolor coat is right. What were you thinking trying to control us?*

"Would you all just shut up! You're jamming my processor."

"Had enough?"

"Quite Doctor. It is not your turn."

-There is no need to be violent.-

Oh Five! How's it going?

-Ten? Charming. By the way, who's this other fellow in here?-

"You may address me as Mr. C-"

*Stuck up prick calls himself Mr. Clever.*

/Did someone call for me?/

*Bollocks.*

^I must say I agree.^

Rassilon have mercy.

(Oh, you did it now. Go crawl back into the hole you came from.)

/I would if I could, but your outfit has rendered me blind. I fear it's permanent./

|What's going on here? An intruder this far in? And one of Cyber construct at that. I wonder… If we just reverse the polarity-|

/That's your answer for everything!/

"Great. You do realize you've made it perpetuity worse by setting them on themselves, right?"

~I concur, young man. We can go at it when provoked.~

"No! I am in control!"

"Are you really? Nice move there, by the way."

*Ha! Nice?*

Ah, he's in a tight spot now.

(I could have sworn robots excelled at playing a simple game of chess. The Scarf could tell you that.)

/That was a very advanced dog and you know it. I did build him after all./

-That he was.-

[Would you buffoons stop blathering about? I was having a wonderful rest before you all starting making such a horrible racket.]

|Look at what you have done. You've gone and woken up the Hobo.|

[Says the Dandy.]

/And all of you were worried about me. Though I understand why, after all, I am of great cosmic importance. One might even dare to say the most important./

^I feel confident in saying no one would dare.^

*Good man. Didn't know I had it in me.*

"How?"

"Excuse me? Sorry. I was a bit busy listening to the whole exchange thing going on."

"How does one of organic origin deal with so many conflicting personalities, all these different voices telling you what to do? How Doctor? How!"

"I've already told you. I just don't talk to them that often."

It might also be the fact that I'm brilliant.

"Yes, that too. Now, where can I put my rook?"

~Don't be cruel. Mr. Clever's algorithms look ready to snap.~

/Yes and about that name. I'm truly flattered that you decided to name yourself after me, but I'm afraid it won't earn you any jelly babies./

^I have to agree. What is with that name? Even the name John Doe is better than Mr. Clever.^

*All in favor of renaming him Mr. McNobody, say aye.*

"Stop it!"

"Aye."

Aye.

^Aye.^

~I'm in favor.~

(Aye.)

-Oh why not? Aye.-

/Ditto./

|I'll go along with this petty ruling.|

[Aye.]

"I told you to stop!"

{Dear me. Where are your manners? These gentlemen are trying to have a meeting. If you knew what's good for you, you would concern yourself with the game you are currently losing.}

Well, if it isn't One. Long time no see, eh?

{Don't you start young man.}

*Heh, he told you.*

{You as well. Now, if there will be no further interruptions, what is the meaning of this? I was in the middle of a most pleasant dream, if what this is could be called that, when I was dragged into this. Mr. McNobody, as I believe you have been named, you need to leave. This is not the place for interlopers and mischievous villains. This is our mind, a place of safety and refuge. }

[And you would do wise listen to him.]

|Yes, this has gone on far longer than necessary.|

/So take my advice and go./

-I gave you a chance, time to realize your mistake.-

(But you, like so many others, had thought himself better us.)

~So, draw back. You can still leave with your life intact.~

^There you go, don't put up a fight. I would hate to have to force you.^

*I wouldn't mind though. Give me something to do around here.*

Oh, brilliant! You're almost out. Now listen, before you go, remember this. I am the Doctor.

"And you are threatening someone I care about."

"No! Stop! What are you- I am in control! You can't do this to me!"

"Checkmate."


End file.
